Gay Identity and the Gay Rights Movement

by Jason Park

In addition to the personal battle raging within your friend, there are external challenges that may add to the difficulty of resolving his homosexual problems. This section explains that if a person has developed a gay identity and assimilated into a close-knit gay community, he may find it difficult to leave it behind. The section discusses the origins and objectives of the gay rights movement, including its efforts to normalize homosexuality and limit the options available to those who want to resolve their homosexual problems.

The personal conflict over homosexual feelings creates a difficult internal struggle. After years of trying to find answers and no success at trying to change their feelings, some people become convinced that their homosexual feelings are inborn and unchangeable and they accept a gay identity which finally ends the internal struggle that has caused them so much frustration and pain. Accepting a gay identity has far-reaching implications because being "gay" includes not only personal feelings, but also describes a social and political identity. As they associate with other gay people, they find a great deal of acceptance and feel—perhaps for the first time in their life—that they fit in. Since they often feel that the world has let them down or they feel rejected by the world, they turn to each other for support. There they feel safe, comfortable, and at home.

Gay culture

Larger cities have distinct areas where gay people tend to live or congregate for entertainment. Gay-identified people often move to major cities where they can find a larger gay community. Gay professionals and gay-owned businesses make their presence known by displaying rainbow flags and listing their services in gay yellow pages published in many cities. They tend to trust and give preference to each other in personal and business dealings. While this kind of trust and unity is apparent in the gay community, it is not unique to it. Suppose you were traveling in a foreign country and felt estranged by the culture and frustrated that you could not understand the language. You then notice someone sitting on a bench reading The Book of Mormon. Although you don’t understand the words on the cover, you recognize it as The Book of Mormon and you suddenly feel a kinship to him and a level of trust and desire to get to know him. In fact, you feel in some ways like you already know him and can trust him. You feel that you can approach him safely, and he will be able to give you help and direction. If he were to invite you to his home for dinner, you would welcome the invitation. Likewise, many gay people feel goodwill and confidence doing business with each other. They find comfort in the gay community because they feel the acceptance they never found among their family, ward, friends, or classmates. Look in the telephone book or pick up a gay newspaper in any large or mid-sized city and you will find dozens of political and social organizations, everything from the Gay and Lesbian Democrats to the Bi-sexual Veterans and the Gay Rodeo Association.

If your friend has lived as part of a gay community, he may have additional lifestyle challenges to overcome in addition to the homosexual problems themselves. Since his emotional support system is likely tied to a gay community and gay friends, he will likely have to move and find new friends who will support him through the difficult process of resolving homosexual issues. Since very few men have the determination to make the move and leave their friends behind, they get stalled before they ever begin to address the homosexual issues themselves. Because of the values the gay community espouses, he may have long since given up on the gospel or any hope of getting married and having a family, and they may no longer be important to him. Without these motivators, few men have the incentive to make such difficult changes in their lives.

Most people who have accepted a gay identity feel that life has dealt with them unfairly. They didn’t choose to be attracted to the same sex. They may have tried everything they know how to rid themselves of these unwanted feelings, but the feelings persist. And even though they may know the feelings are wrong and out of harmony with the gospel, the only peace they can find is to follow their feelings, so feelings become all-important and they learn to live by their feelings.

Gays and lesbians suffer, often unjustly and unfairly. In addition to their difficult internal struggles, they also encounter the ignorance and prejudice of others. Instead of receiving love and support from their families, they are often ostracized. Rather than being involved in supportive church groups, they find themselves on the outside because even good Christians often don’t know how to react to someone with homosexual attractions.

Gay people are evicted by landlords, fired by employers, and even face violent physical attacks. Hate crimes are increasing and some people use AIDS as an excuse to show their hatred.¹ Less than 2% of the gay population survives to age sixty-five. They are 116 times more likely to be murdered and twenty-four times more likely to commit suicide than the average person.² It is a difficult lifestyle where AIDS and other factors cause suffering and premature death.³ The collective anger over mistreatment and the frustration and despair caused by their internal struggles are powerful forces behind the gay rights movement.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks wrote the following in the Ensign magazine: "Our doctrines obviously condemn those who engage in so-called ‘gay bashing’—physical or verbal attacks on persons thought to be involved in homosexual or lesbian behavior. We should extend compassion to persons who suffer from ill health, including those who are infected with HIV or who are ill with AIDS (who may or may not have acquired their condition from sexual relations). We should encourage such persons to participate in the activities of the Church."⁴

Gay people finally became sick and tired of being mistreated and began to fight back. In the 1960’s, they simply wanted the public to leave them alone. They didn’t want to be called names and didn’t want to be arrested for going to gay bars. When dialog and reason didn’t get results, they began to form organizations and develop protest strategies. Following the social protest strategies of the era, they turned social issues into political issues. Although homosexual behavior is as old as history itself, there had not previously been a social identity based entirely on sexual behavior. The pro-gay strategy was to take the behavioral definition and expand it to become a definition of a class of people. (Some say that ancient Greece had a gay culture. And while it is true they had a more naturalistic view of life, including homosexuality, there was no gay identity. In fact, the Greek language had no word meaning "gay."⁵ The concept of a "homosexual person" was created in the nineteenth century.⁶ Although homosexual behavior was certainly practiced before that time, it was seen as something you did, and not who you were.)

The watershed event of the gay rights movement in America happened in 1969 at a gay bar called the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village, New York, where gay patrons where gay patrons fought police in clashes that continued sporadically for two days. The Stonewall uprising is now commemorated in June each year in every major city in the United States with parades and other activities during Gay Pride Month.

Over the years, organizations have been formed to further various gay causes. Many are well-meaning and some are over the edge. A number of highly organized, well-funded organizations attempt to mold public opinion in favor of homosexuality as a normal, alternative sexuality. In 1997, over $75 million will be donated to these organizations.⁷ For fiscal year 1997, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force had a budget of $2.3 million and the Lambda Legal Defense and Educational Fund had a budget of $3.1 million.⁸ These significant resources are massed toward achieving multiple discrete and troublesome objectives, such as those that follow.

Gay activists turn social and cultural issues into political ones and through various means attempt to achieve a minority status. They define themselves as a class of people, an oppressed minority fighting for civil rights. They merge being gay with gay rights so that those who oppose gay rights are seen as bigots who hate gay people. This civil rights approach takes on a feel of a racial equality movement and gives the collective gay community a tremendous amount of power. They support gay or pro-gay political candidates to introduce legislation to help move their causes forward.

You have the right to let your legislators know your position on social issues and vote on referenda that come to ballot. Vote for representatives that will uphold the standards you believe. The National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) or The Lambda Report can help keep you informed of current issues. (See the Organizations page.)

Seeking gay rights protection, activists focus on the courts—not the polls. Rather than permitting the voters to decide whether to legitimize gay marriage, they seek to have judges dictate that society will have gay marriage—whether society on the whole wants it or not. They have obtained many changes by nondemocratic, nonpolitical means. "Gay rights" have been created by state and federal judges although there is nothing in the express wording, text, or structure of the Constitution that suggests a fundamental—let alone constitutional—right to sexual expression (whether that expression be hetero-sexual or homosexual).

See the Organizations page for information on contacting organizations that are addressing these concerns.

The pro-gay agenda seeks not only for the right to practice and celebrate homosexuality openly, but wants the endorsement of society. Although gay couples already receive some benefits of marriage through domestic partnership laws, activists seek to legalize homosexual marriage and redefine the traditional family. They work toward more favorable child custody and visitation rights as well as the right to adopt children. They promote moral relativism, saying in effect, "it might be wrong for you, but not for me." They also seek a redefinition of gender, with the goal of giving humans five genders from which to choose instead of two. When freed of traditional biases, a person can then decide whether to be male, female, homosexual, lesbian, or transgendered.⁹ (These concepts are already taught in many women’s study programs at universities.)

These efforts present a real threat to traditional family values. President Boyd K. Packer spoke about this danger in a general conference address in October 1990.¹⁰ In 1994, the First Presidency issued a letter that stated, "The principles of the gospel and the sacred responsibilities given us require that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints oppose any efforts to give legal authorization to marriages between persons of the same gender."¹¹ Speak up for traditional family values and the divinely-appointed roles of men and women. See the "Organizations" section of this book for information on organizations that support families.

Gay activism pushes for an increase in gay and pro-gay school teachers and counselors who are in positions to influence children’s values. Boys are often confused about sexuality during their adolescent years, and a gay counselor’s attempts to help them come to grips with their "gay identity" may add to their confusion and lead them down the wrong path. Project 10 is a pro-gay counseling program in the Los Angeles Unified School District that helps teens accept their gay, lesbian, or bisexual identity. The program uses exclusively gay-identified counselors and sexually-explicit literature with students at large in an aggressive search for the mythical 10% of the teens that are gay. In New York schools, first-graders were required to read books such as Heather Has Two Mommies and Daddy’s Roommate to counter the more traditional values taught in the home. Deborah Glick, New York state assemblywoman and a lesbian, explained why first grade is the new front line of the pro-gay movement: "Most of the parents themselves have tremendous prejudice and bigotry that have been passed on for generations . . . and the reality is that we as a society, if we are to remain free and just, must provide a counter-balance to what kids are obviously learning at home."¹² Pro-gay school programs promote sex education that includes acceptance of homosexuality as a healthy lifestyle and encouragement to explore alternative sexualities. AIDS education is often an avenue for pro-gay indoctrination. Such programs teach "safer sex" but rarely teach abstinence.

If a teenager is confused about sexuality or his gender identity, it is important that he have a safe person or group to talk with. However, pro-gay school counselors and g ay clubs are seldom safe. The counselors, club advisors, and guest speakers are not usually supportive of gospel values. They typically encourage students to "come out of the closet" and accept a gay identity rather than to grow past it.

A natural response to these alarming situations may be to confront the pro-gay movement directly. However, experience shows it is generally a waste of time to try to argue with pro-gay advocates in an attempt to come to middle ground. You may therefore want to be proactive rather than reactive and work with your school principal and school board on these issues. File formal grievances against teachers that don’t follow state laws on curriculum. School programs should be balanced and should not belittle traditional values of sexuality. The Focus on the Family organization (see the Organizations section of this book) offers programs with Christian principles.

The gay agenda encourages the ordination of homosexual ministers and a redefinition of theology to accommodate homosexual lifestyles. Gay advocates teach that religious opposition to homosexuality is bigotry that must be stopped. Unfortunately, they are beginning to establish a legal precedence for granting gay rights over religious rights. The following news item appeared in the April 1988 issue of the Intercessor’s for America Newsletter: "The Washington, D.C. court of appeals has ordered Georgetown University [a private Catholic institution] to support homosexual groups on campus. The court ruled that Georgetown’s policy which denies support to gay organizations because homosexual practice is contrary to Catholic doctrine to be discriminatory on the basis of sexual orientation and is a violation of the Washington, D.C. area’s Human Rights Act. The court also declared that ‘homosexual orientation tells nothing about a person’s abilities or commitments concerning religion. The compelling government interest to eliminate discrimination against homosexuals outweighs the freedom of religion.’"¹³

The response of some Christians is to join anti-gay crusades which do nothing to reduce the incidence of homosexuality, but simply convince gays that there is no place for them in religion. The most effective thing you can do is to learn about homosexual issues in their proper gospel context, then teach others. Evergreen International sponsors educational conferences and other programs. Remember that the fight is not against people who experience homosexual attractions, but against the propaganda that is being taught.

Gay activism seeks equal time and space in the media and encourages writers and producers to include more gay themes and present a positive image of gays. Since there are many liberal, pro-gay producers and journalists, there is a great deal of media exposure.

As a concerned citizen, you can express your opinion to media owners and operators to encourage traditional, family-oriented values. You can also encourage local libraries to have books that present all sides of the issue of homosexuality, including the fact that homosexual problems can be resolved.

Gay advocates state that homosexuality is inborn and unchangeable. The proposition that a person could change questions the very concept of a gay identity. In addition, recognizing that anyone would want to change is to admit there are those who believe it is wrong and does not make them happy. Gay advocates may go to great lengths to try to disprove anyone who claims to have changed. They may say that such people were never gay in the first place or that they have been brainwashed into believing they have overcome homosexuality and some day will realize they are just suppressing their true homosexual nature. It is ironic that gay advocates have no problem believing that a straight man may discover his latent homosexuality, but they cannot tolerate the idea that a man with homosexual desires may discover his heterosexual nature. Jeffrey Satinover also noted, "There will always be people who seek to change but are not successful, even after many years of effort. Understandably perhaps, some of these relapse into a vocally gay-activist posture and become hostile toward the ministries they perceive as having failed, or even deluded, them."¹⁴

The conservative response from society is to ignore homosexual issues and hope they will go away. This leaves gay activists as the only ones speaking on the subject, giving distorted views of the problems and the solutions. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell others what you know about homosexuality and about the changes you have seen people make.

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) is the organization that determines for the professional community what is normal and what is abnormal. Their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is a handbook widely used by clinicians to assist in diagnosing and classifying mental, emotional, and sexual disorders. The first edition of the DSM, published in 1952, listed homosexuality as a mental disorder, a severe form of psychopathology.

By 1968, the gay community had a few organizations in place and one of their first targets was the APA. Over the next few years, protestors interrupted APA conferences, shouting at the speakers and taking control of meetings. After three years of disrupted conventions, the APA agreed to let gay activists be involved in the decision-making process, even though the activists were not professionals in psychiatry or psychology. Finally in 1973, the board of trustees agreed to redefine mental illness in a way that accommodated homosexuality. Previously, disorders had been determined by deviations from an objective norm, but this redefinition said that the norm should be more subjective, that people should not be considered disordered if they do not experience distress over their condition and if they show no major impairment in social functioning. With this redefinition, homosexuality was removed as a disorder from the DSM-III.

The decision by the APA board was not based on data and clinical reasoning nor did it represent the professional opinions of the practitioners the APA represents. Surveys show that a majority of mental health professionals believes that homosexuality is not normal.¹⁵ In his book Homosexuality and American Psychiatry: The Politics of Diagnosis, Ronald Bayer describes how clinical decisions are made and the factors that influence those decisions. This subjective standard of normalcy set a dangerous precedent, because without an objective standard nearly any deviation can be considered normal as long as the person is not seriously disturbed by his condition. For example, in the DSM-IV, one of the criteria for diagnosing pedophilia (a disorder in which children are the preferred sexual objects) states, "The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."¹⁶ Such changes were also made in the criteria for diagnosing sexual sadism and masochism, transvestitism, voyeurism, and exhibitionism. In their attempt to be politically correct, the psychiatric community has lost the distinction between what is normal and what is right.

Today, a growing number of professionals are dissatisfied with the APA’s political commitments and have formed organizations that oppose the APA’s advocacy of social issues such as abortion, the environment, affirmative action, gay rights, support of special interest groups, and other issues irrelevant to the profession of psychology. (For more information, write to Psychologists For a Free APA, 1807 North Elm #321, Denton TX 76201.)

The elimination of homosexuality as a disorder in the DSM has also had a negative effect on clinical research in the area of homosexuality. It is difficult to get funding or recognition for research in an area not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. One of the few organizations currently promoting research and documenting clinical successes in treating homosexuality is the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (see the Organizations section in this book).

Gay activists seek not only to declare homosexuality to be normal, but also to block a person’s attempts to change his homosexuality. They believe that such attempts are simply manifestations of the person’s internalized homophobia and self-loathing, and that the only healthy response to homosexual feelings is to accept a gay identity. They seek to make it professionally unethical for therapists to help people grow out of homosexuality. Although homosexuality is no longer classified as a disorder, clinicians who treat those who seek treatment for homosexuality are treating within the guidelines in the DSM-IV, section 302.9, "sexual disorders not otherwise specified," "persistent and marked distress about sexual orientation." However, proposals have been presented in both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association to make it unethical for a therapist to offer treatment to those who seek treatment for their distress over homosexual desires. Such therapists would have their licenses revoked and be liable for punitive damages.

Since such proposals are gaining increasing support, it is important to take proactive measures to preserve the right to receive professional help. Therapists who have seen how people can be helped are organizing to find ways to protect the rights of patients who seek treatment as well as the rights of the therapists who treat them. For more information, contact the National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (see the Organizations section in this book). While it is true that no one should be coerced into treatment, the reverse is also true that no one should be denied treatment if they want it. Ultimately, it is an issue of personal freedom and self-determination.

A small number of political-activist groups have become militant in their tactics. Feeling wronged and oppressed, they are now fighting mad and fighting back with vocal, in-your-face tactics. They have been known to threaten or cause property damage or physical injury. Although most gay people are respectable, law-abiding members of society, these militant gays get media attention and give the impression that gay people are on the fringe of society, feeding incorrect stereotypes.

ACT UP is a civil disobedience organization dedicated to confronting the issues of discrimination against people with HIV infection or AIDS. It has more than a hundred chapters in the United States and abroad. Queer Nation was organized by several members of ACT UP who wanted to focus their energy specifically on gay and lesbian rights issues. According to one of the group’s founders, "We wanted to do direct action, to get out on the streets, to scream and yell, to stage very visible protests against anti-gay violence and discrimination."¹⁷ Such groups go to radical extremes to shock the public, such as putting up pornographic signs or painting "We’re queer; we’re here" on businesses they target as homophobic. Since words like "queer" and "fag" have been used derogatorily against gay people, these radical groups have reclaimed the words and now use them pro-actively for their shock value.

Some groups have the purpose of "outing." They take it upon themselves to identify a person who is gay and force him out of the closet by informing employers, families, and friends that he is gay. Although they do it against the person’s wishes, sometimes ruining careers and breaking up families, they feel it benefits the greater cause of the gay movement by showing that greater numbers of people are gay. Identifying successful, prominent people as gay seems to lend credibility to the cause.

When we have little experience with something, we tend to stereotype. Although many people think that all gays are alike, the truth is that the gay population is about as heterogeneous as the heterosexual population. Unless a person knows a relative or friend who is gay, the only experience they have to draw on is what they see in the media. When they watch a gay parade in New York City and see men and women flaunting their sexuality with lewd costumes and behavior, they only see the extremes of the gay population. And when the population at large begins to think that all gays are riotous and lewd, it seems reasonable to ban gays from serving in the military. A gay sailor parading around in drag propositioning other sailors would certainly not strengthen a cohesive fighting unit. While this obviously is not a fair representation of most gay people, it is the stereotype people form in their minds when they see the extremists of the gay movement in the media. They don’t see the average man or woman who is a responsible and productive member of society who only asks for reasonable rights and respect. Gay activism gives gay people a reputation they don’t deserve.

Gay advocates would like you to think that there is latent homosexuality in all men because it gives credence to their position that homosexuality is natural and occurs to some degree in everyone. What they call latent homosexuality is nothing more than the natural, right desires for companionship, acceptance, and healthy relationships. The only thing potentially homosexual about it is that if not fulfilled through healthy relationships, it could lead to homosexuality.

Homophobia is defined as an irrational hatred or fear of homosexuality. Although there are legitimate cases of homophobia, the use of the term has been expanded to take on social and political meanings. Gay advocates use it widely to refer to those who are hostile toward gay people and even those who disagree with the pro-gay perspective. They consider homophobic those who want to resolve their homosexual problems as well as therapists who try to help them. Some activists have an almost neurotic attitude toward all "straight" people and blame all their suffering in life on either social or internalized homophobia.

The truth is, those who are hostile toward gay people are usually prejudiced, meaning that they have an opinion against it without adequate basis, but not homophobic. Those who disagree with the pro-gay perspective may also do it legitimately out of conviction, which is a strong belief. Those who object to homosexuality on religious or moral grounds do so out of conviction, not because of a phobia or prejudice.

	Unforgiven Sins by Joe Dallas. This novel about the gay rights movement teaches powerful lessons about facing potentially explosive situations with sensitivity and wisdom.
	Homosexuality in America: Exposing the Myths (American Family Association, P. O. Drawer 2440, Tupelo, MS, 38803). This twenty-four–page booklet responds to the reality of homosexuality from a traditional family-values perspective.
	Desires in Conflict: Answering the Struggle for Sexual Identify by Joe Dallas. Chapter sixteen gives an insightful description of the genesis of rage in gay activism.

1. “Gay bashing” is usually by white, straight males in their late teens or early twenties, but it occurs at all ages.

2. A 1988 study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services showed that gay teens commit suicide at two to three times the rate of other teens and some studies show that 40% of all gay people make attempts on their lives when they are young (as reported in Is it a Choice?: Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gays and Lesbians, Eric Marcus, Harper Collins Publishers, New York, 1993, p. 29).

3. Less than 2% survive to age sixty-five. For those who contract AIDS, the median age of death is thirty-nine. For those whose death is from other factors besides AIDS, the median age of death is forty-two. (See Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do, Paul Cameron, Family Research Institute, Washington, DC, 1993 and “The Longevity of Homosexuals: Before and After the AIDS Epidemic,” Paul Cameron, William Playfair, and Stephen Wellum, Omega Journal of Death and Dying, vol. 29, no. 3, 1994, Baywood Publishing, Amityville, NY.)

4. “Same-Gender Attraction,” Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign, Oct. 1995, p. 9.

5. See “The Greeks Had No Word For It,” Marjorie Rosenberg, The Partisan Review, Spring 1993, vol. 60, no. 2.

6. “Parents and Loved Ones: Is There Hope?,” Alan Medinger, Regeneration News, Sep. 1995, p. 2.

7. “Record Number of Foundations & Corporations Funding Gay & Lesbian Causes,” John Freeman, Harvest News, summer 1997, Harvest USA, Philadelphia, PA, p. 8.

8. Figures personally confirmed with the organizations’ development offices.

9. These concepts were formally prepared for the United Nations Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, China, 30 August to 15 September 1995. See “Gender: The Deconstruction of Women: Analysis of the Gender Perspective in Preparation for the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, China,” 1995, p. 21.

10. “Covenants,” Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, Nov. 1990, pp. 84–86.

11. “Same Gender Marriages,” letter from the First Presidency dated 1 Feb. 1994.

12. The New American, 25 Jan. 1993.

13. Intercessor’s for America Newsletter, Apr. 1988.

14. Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth, Jeffrey Satinover, Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI, 1966, chapter 13.

15. In 1977, for example, a poll was sent to psychiatrists in the USA. 69% of those responding said they considered homosexuality to be the result of psychological mal-adaption.

16. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fourth Edition), American Psychiatric Association, Washington, DC, 1994, p. 528.

17. Is it a Choice?: Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gays and Lesbians, Eric Marcus, Harper Collins Publishers, New York, 1993, p. 184.