They are still the same
wonderful person you have always known and loved. The gospel is still true,
Heavenly Father cares, and the Church has caring resources for assistance.
First: Get informed.
Finding out that a child is dealing with same-sex attraction issues is
usually devastating. You may experience varied feelings of hurt,
disappointment, fear, concern, and compassion - sometimes within just
moments of one another. These feelings are perfectly normal.
It is important to remember that while this may all be new to you, your
child has been dealing with this information for years. While you probably
know little about same-sex attraction, they have been thinking about it and
getting information for a long time. Much of what they have learned may not
necessarily be correct. Much of what they tell you about homosexuality may
be more propaganda than science. You need to know more.
You need to read and study reliable information concerning same-sex
attraction. You need to know what the church teaches and what science
understands. You need to
know that change and growth is possible. Second: Obtain reliable support.
When you are hurt or confused, connecting with others who are
experiencing similar challenges can be very helpful. Now, more than ever,
you need to stay in touch with family, good friends, and trustworthy Church
members. While this new information concerning your child may seem to change
everything, it really doesn’t. They are still the same wonderful person you
have always known and loved. The gospel is still true, Heavenly Father
cares, and the Church has caring resources for assistance.
You must be alert to groups or individuals who would undermine your
testimony. Be suspicious of those who would use this personal dilemma for
their political gain. If you feel you need additional support, choose wisely
to affiliate with those organizations like Evergreen International who
support the standards and doctrines of the Church without reservation. Stay
connected to your Heavenly Father.
Third: Reach out to strugglers.
Once you recover from your initial surprise, gain the information you
need to understand
the complicated issues surrounding same-sex attraction, and reinforce your
personal support system. It is only natural that you want to “do something.”
Your first inclination
is to want to “fix” your own child. It is important that you love them and
let them know of your testimony of the atoning grace of Jesus Christ. Let
them know that help is available and you will support them in getting
reliable assistance. Beyond this you usually have to rely on others to
provide most of the help. You are just too emotionally close to your own
family to do more.
What you can and should do is get involved with organizations like Evergreen
to reach out to other strugglers and their families. Here you can make a
world of difference. If more individuals had been willing to help, your
child might have received the support they needed much sooner. Fourth:
Help change attitudes.
One of the great challenges faced by those struggling, their friends, and
family members is the misinformed attitudes of so many in our own community.
Church members will unintentionally make hurtful comments about same-sex
attraction. Church leaders often lack the facts they need to recommend
effective counseling or assistance for those who struggle. In fact, too many
are more likely to provide flawed information (e.g. homosexuality is genetic
and can’t be changed) than make helpful suggestions.
We could reach many of those who are struggling alone much sooner, with far
better help, if we were just willing to speak out and get informed.
Evergreen has provided scores of training meetings and firesides consistent
with gospel standards. We need more parents to speak up and ask that
information be provided for local church leaders and members. This takes
courage, but can make such a difference for our children.
Note: This information is available from
Evergreen as a printed pamphlet. |
