Before an individual begins participation in a growth and accountability group, the advisor or
group leader should conduct an interview with the individual to:
- Determine the suitability of the group for the individual and the
individual for the group. Your task in conducting the interview is to
determine if the individual wishing to join the group has goals that are
consistent with the group rules and group mission statement.
- Assess the sincerity of the individual’s commitment to change and
appropriate behavior.
Another
benefit of the interview is to help the individual begin to feel comfortable talking
about same-sex attraction in a small group setting prior to exposing him to the
group at large.
The interview need not be an in-depth interrogation, but should consider the
over-all preparedness of the individual to participate. Asking open-ended
questions and then just listening can often be the most effective way of
understanding where someone has been and where he/she wants to go. If you
find that the problems a prospective participant is having exceed the ability of
the group to be helpful, you should refer them to a professional
counselor or Evergreen for additional assistance.
Items to cover in the screening interview:
- Discuss the Evergreen mission statement, the group's goals, and rules of participation.
Click here for ideas. Give the
individual some materials about Evergreen.
- Explain that the group will support and encourage them to behave
consistent with gospel standards. It is not expected that they have
all behaviors in check before participating in the group, but one of the
goals of the group is to help them achieve it. However, any sexual activity among
members of the group is grounds for asking the members to leave the group.
- Ask them about their feelings about same-sex attraction,
what their goals are in life, and why they want to join the group.
- Explain the potential problems and dangers that must be avoided in the
group (such as predators, victims, and inappropriate associations with
group members). Explain that all are equal in the group and that no one has all the
answers. Being a member of the group means that they come to give and
receive support.
Once you are convinced the individual is ready to participate in the
group, you may disclose the meeting location, day, and time.
Help them to understand that in the first few meetings misunderstandings can
occur. Something that may be said or done may unintentionally offend a new
member. The advisor should stay in close touch with new members until he is
confident that they are at ease. Remember that these individuals readily detach
for their own emotional protection. A good advisor helps them to understand that
this is a common weakness, and they need to stick to their commitment to
healing, even if it is uncomfortable at first.
A new participant should be aware of some of the helpful literature available.
Many groups require a new member to read one or two suggested books before
attending the first meeting. It is also important for new members to understand
that while they may, at times, act inappropriately during the long healing
process, it is unacceptable to sexually approach or act out with any member of
the group. Violation of this rule destroys the safety and confidentiality of
group members. The reputation of the group can be damaged beyond repair.
It is also important to remember that we need to understand before we judge.
Sometimes a member may misinterpret the comments or offers of assistance given
by group members. If there seems to be a problem, address it in group meeting.
Walking away from the group helps no one. The real problem may be fear of
relationships and detachment, not the acts of friendship that groups should
provide. The advisor needs to act wisely and seek the counsel of experienced
advisors when problems occur. Evergreen can help put you in contact with other
advisors.
Generally, evidence of a desire to change is the most important single factor
in determining success. Mere attendance does not bring about change; commitment
and individual work do. Participation in a group before a person is ready only
brings frustration for the participant and others, and further convinces them
that change is not possible.
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