Seven Things I Wish Pro-Gay People Would Admit
by Bob Davies, Exodus International
- I wish they would admit that many people are not happy with their
homosexuality or lesbianism, and that this conflict is internal, based on
legitimate, intelligent religious and moral convictions--not just the result
of a so-called "homophobic" society which is forcing guilt upon people who
don't conform to a heterosexual ethic.
Stop throwing out the cheap, inaccurate labels like "internalized homophobia"
to explain our motivations.
- I wish they would acknowledge that homosexuals and lesbians can experience
significant change in their sexual feelings and desires, even though they may
never be totally heterosexual in their sexual thoughts and feelings.
Be honest enough to admit that such change is significant and genuine, even if
it isn't complete.
- I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians
have found a greater measure of peace and satisfaction after leaving a gay or
lesbian lifestyle than they ever experienced while embracing homosexuality.
Not all "ex-gays" are miserable, plotting how to secretly fulfill their
homosexual lusts without being caught.
- I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians
have genuine joy in their marriages.
Most former gays and lesbians don't get married in a futile attempt to
"escape" homosexuality; they marry as a natural consequence of resolving that
issue in their lives.
- I wish they would acknowledge that all people have as much right to pursue
a heterosexual lifestyle as they do to pursue homosexuality.
Former homosexuals and lesbians should not be harassed and castigated by the
gay community. But I have never heard any gay or lesbian leaders speak out
against the violence (such as bomb threats and physical/verbal abuse) which
some people perpetuate against Exodus ministries.
- I wish they would stop equating our decision to leave homosexuality with
"hatred" and "bigotry" against gays and lesbians.
We don't hate gays; we simply desire to live free of homosexuality. Don't put
nasty labels upon our motives. That's being judgmental and unfair.
- I wish pro-gay religious leaders would admit that their endorsement and
promotion of monogamous homosexual relationships is a facade.
Many–probably most–men
and women involved in long-term partnerships are not sexually monogamous, but
gay churches don't discipline members for committing "adultery" outside their
"gay marriage." Neither do they discipline gays or lesbians who have sex
before entering into a "holy union" with their partner.
Bob Davies is past President of Exodus International and an ex-gay himself.
He has been married for nine years.
(Used by permission of the Exodus Standard, P.O. Box 77652,
Seattle, WA, 98177.)
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