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Overview of Evergreen International and Chairman’s Message
by Larry Richman,
Chairman of the Board of Trustees
Delivered Friday, September 18, 2008 at the 19th Annual Evergreen Conference
Conference Theme
This year’s theme is from
Omni 26: “…I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One
of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his
redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an
offering unto him, and continue in fasting and praying, and endure to
the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved.”
In the sessions and
workshops throughout this conference, look for things that will help you
to come unto Christ and partake of his salvation and redemption. This
scripture reminds us that we need to offer our whole souls as an
offering unto Him. Then, after we do all we can do, he will make up the
difference and we will be saved.
The following are some of
the themes you will notice in workshops and talks:
§
Managing
issues of same-sex attraction
§
Being patient
in the process
§
Partaking of
the power of the atonement now
§
Finding the
joy in the journey
§
Debunking some of the myths you’ll hear in the world
Evergreen Mission
Statement
“Evergreen is founded on
the belief that the atonement of Jesus Christ enables every soul the
opportunity to turn away from all sins or conditions that obstruct their
temporal and eternal happiness and potential.
“Evergreen attests that
individuals can overcome homosexual behavior and can diminish same-sex
attraction, and is committed to assisting individuals who wish to do so.
“Evergreen provides
education, guidance, and support to those involved in the transition
from homosexuality, and is available as a resource to family, friends,
professional counselors, religious leaders, and all others involved in
assisting individuals who desire to change.
“Evergreen sustains the
doctrines and standards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints without reservation or exception, but is not affiliated with the
Church. Evergreen welcomes all people who wish to participate in the
pursuit of these goals.”
Evergreen Organization
This year, we celebrate the
20th anniversary of the founding of Evergreen. It was 20
years ago this summer that 11 LDS men who struggled with same-sex
attraction came together to form a support group. They knew that
homosexual behavior was not in keeping with the gospel of Christ. But
try as they might, the feelings would not go away. They were faced with
the choice that everyone who experiences same-sex attraction faces: (1)
pretend you aren’t attracted to your own gender and try to ignore these
strong feelings or (2) set aside your spiritual beliefs and accept a gay
identity and engage in homosexual behavior. They knew there had to be
answers and ways to address their situation in keeping with gospel
standards.
Tomorrow night at the
concluding banquet, we’ll distribute a printed history of Evergreen and
talk a little about how that one support group grew to scores of groups
for men, women, spouses, and families in locations throughout the United
States and in many other countries.
Today, Evergreen is
governed by a Board of Trustees which has fiduciary and oversight
responsibility to ensure that the organization’s goals and objectives
are carried out according to the Mission Statement. Trustees serve
without compensation. Let me introduce the Trustees to you:
§
I am the
Chairman of
the Board
§
Julie Haws is
the Vice-Chairman
§
Lee Chambers
is the Secretary/Treasurer
Other Trustees
include:
§
Dr.
Shirley E. Cox
§
Vera E.
Eccles
§
David
Gossner
§
David
Grimley
§
Elder L.
Lionel Kendrick
§
Elder
James O. Mason
§
Dr. Janet
S. Scharman
Evergreen also
has two employees:
§
David
Pruden (the Executive Director) and
§
Rebekah
Mohr (the Office Manager)
Evergreen Priorities
Let me give you a brief
overview of Evergreen’s priorities, since some of you here today haven’t
had much exposure to the organization. We focus our efforts in three
main areas: (1) being a referral service, (2) developing resources, and
(3) providing education.
1. Referral service
We maintain the world’s
largest database of therapists and other trained resources to which we
can refer people who need help with same-sex attraction. We also nurture
relationships with other faith-based organizations with goals similar to
ours.
We currently have 32 groups
that have affiliate status with Evergreen, meaning that they have a
local sponsor (usually a priesthood leader), an advisor who attends all
meetings, and a written code of conduct to ensure that the experience is
safe and positive. We are currently working with LDS Family Services to
transition the oversight of these groups from Evergreen to LDS Family
Services to provide better long-term support and strengthen the
priesthood oversight of these groups even more.
We answer over 300 phone
calls every month and perhaps twice that number of e-mails. Perhaps the
most important thing we do is just to be there when an individual, or a
bishop, or a parent, or an individual calls for help. They don’t know
where to turn and we point them to resources and give them hope.
2. Developing Resources
Perhaps our most extensive
resource is our Web site with nearly 600 pages of information in
English, a few hundred pages in Spanish, and limited information in 31
other languages. It’s been around for nearly 10 years, and has been
visited over a million times. Visitors to the site have read over 3.5
million pages.
We maintain a reference
library at the headquarters office, provide information packets, have
published a workbook for men, and will soon publish a workbook for
women.
3. Providing Education
Today, you’re at this
year’s annual conference. 400-500 people attend these conferences each
year from many states and from several other countries. The 19
conferences we have held have been attended by a total of nearly 7,000
people and have included major addresses by 14 general authorities,
numerous world-renowned speakers, and hundreds of workshops.
Even though about half of
you here today come from other states and countries, as you can imagine,
there are many more who need to hear these messages of faith and hope,
and get practical advice about how to respond to same-sex attraction in
positive ways. We are making plans to create videos and other training
materials that can be used anywhere around the world.
We maintain close
relationships with Church leaders and provide training to ward and stake
leaders upon request.
Evergreen itself provides
no clinical therapy program, nor does it espouse any specific curriculum
or therapeutic approach. However, we do encourage therapists to become
educated on helpful approaches and we have sponsored training meetings
for hundreds of therapists.
In all these educational
efforts, we try to maintain a delicate balance of staying fairly
low-profile, staying out of political issues, and focusing on helping
the individual. While we are grateful to God for the progress we’ve made
and the lives that have been changed, we also feel dwarfed in our meager
efforts compared to the well-funded and highly organized public
relations machine of the gay rights movement. About 30 years ago, the
gay movement came out of the closet and began demanding public
acceptance and equal rights. Today, they are gaining the upper hand in
cultural acceptance and political momentum. They have swayed popular
opinion to almost believe that people are born gay and will always be
gay and that homosexuality is simply a normal variation equal in value
to heterosexuality. Unfortunately, even many faithful members of the
Church have bought into this philosophy and become confused about how to
respond to loved ones who experience same-sex attraction.
How grateful I am that
Evergreen stands as another voice testifying of eternal truths of gender
and the ability of individuals to direct the course of their lives.
Evergreen participants who experience same-sex attraction define
themselves as sons and daughters of a loving God, knowing they were born
on this earth for a purpose and with a divine destiny. Evergreen proudly
proclaims its support of the doctrines and standards of the Church
without exception or reservation. As an organization, we commit to
follow the direction of the Prophet without exception.
That’s the summary of our
three areas of focus.
How We Encourage Others to Help
Many people ask us how they
can help. Let me quickly mention three ways.
First, we invite everyone
to be part of the educational process by learning as much as you can,
then sharing that knowledge with others. The mass media is not the
answer. Understanding happens one-on-one and in small group
conversations, as we help people understand the genesis and the
solutions to same-sex attraction. Prophets have taught that since
individuals have no control over the emergence of homosexual feelings,
there is no sin in experiencing such feelings. However, we can make
conscious choices—and we are accountable—not to harbor inappropriate
feelings and to choose correct actions in response to the feelings. We
can help people understand the incredible inner struggle of a person who
experiences same-sex attraction—as well as their families—and learn to
succor people in their struggles—and encourage them in making
gospel-centered choices.
When people make offensive
comments because they don’t understand the issues, teach them so we can
collectively be more loving, compassionate, and nurturing of each other.
When people spread incorrect information, stand up for what you know is
right and correct them.
After attending an
Evergreen conference, one sister shared the information she learned with
her Relief Society. She expressed her love for her son, even though he
was making destructive choices in his life. She asked for the support
and prayers of the ward. She also talked about the many people she met
at the conference who are turning their lives around and staying true to
gospel standards.
Take a book back home and
share it with a neighbor. Get a copy of the introductory CD from the
bookstore and give it to your bishop and stake president along with an
Evergreen brochure so they’ll have information to help those who
approach them seeking help with same-sex attraction.
The second way we can all
help is in knowing that faith and prayers have an amazing effect on how
this work moves forward. We believe that God wants this work to move
forward and that He will bless us individually and collectively as we
are ready to make things happen.
Third, like any non-profit
organization, we have to beg for money. Every hour we spend in
fundraising could be better spent helping connect people with services
that can help.
In Evergreen’s case, that
poses a unique dilemma. Evergreen’s model to support Church members,
leaders, and families—and to maintain a close relationship with the
Church—is purposely low-key. We stay low-profile out of respect for the
people we serve. Fundraising would be easier if we carried a higher
profile and involved ourselves in news-producing activities. But we
don’t, and that’s why we rely on good folks from the community who
believe in our cause to sustain us financially.
You can make one-time
donations, set up monthly contributions by direct deposit, or indicate
“Evergreen International” on your United Way donation form with your
employer. Your employer may even match your contributions or make a
contribution themselves. You can donate appreciated stock and avoid
paying capital gains tax. You can even leave assets to the organization
in your will.
We are building an
endowment fund, with the idea that in the future, its proceeds can
provide the majority of our needed funding. We are also considering
acquiring an office building as an investment, rather than paying rent,
and would appreciate any leads you may be aware of.
Evergreen’s Youth Initiative
There is a growing need to
provide education and answers to teens who are bombarded with incorrect
information about sexuality in public schools and in the media. And by
the time they finally find out that help like Evergreen is available,
they have often been swallowed up by addictive behaviors and destructive
thinking patterns. Teens get little or no gospel-centered information
about homosexuality. Even their LDS friends often believe there is no
hope for people with same-sex attractions and they quietly encourage
them to embrace a gay identity. In fact, the term “gay Mormon” has now
become common in the media and among high school students in even our
most conservative communities.
We would like to develop a
youth Web site and other materials that can speak to them and provide
simple answers to guide them through the confusing years of adolescence.
That’s the end of the overview of
Evergreen International. I’d like to now review a few issues about
same-sex attraction and clearly state Evergreen’s position.
Definition of Same-Sex Attraction
Let me start by defining
same-sex attraction.
Same-sex attraction
includes sexual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors directed toward the
same gender. These attractions should not be confused with a healthy
emotional and social interest in persons of the same gender. Homoemotional
and homosocial interests are
healthy as long as they are not excessive and do not develop a sexual
dimension. It is when same-gender interests are eroticized and become
sexual that they are unhealthy.
Homosexuality may include
sexual feelings or attractions without sexual behavior or it may include
complete emotional and sexual involvement.
It cannot be identified simply by the presence or absence of
outward sexual behavior.
Individuals usually have no control over the emergence of
homosexual attractions. Since they make no conscious choice for them,
they should not feel guilty for having them. However, we can choose how
we respond to any feelings we experience and should not deliberately
feed the feelings by fantasizing or turning them into lustful thoughts.
We are responsible for our agency in the thoughts we entertain and in
the behaviors we pursue.
In 1991, the First
Presidency issued a letter to all members of the Church with a subject
line “Standards of Morality and Fidelity.” In it, they make clear the
Lord’s standards:
"The Lord's law of moral
conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within
marriage. Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife
appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual
contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian
behavior, is sinful."
The letter continues:
“There is a distinction between immoral thoughts and feelings and
participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual behavior.
However, such thoughts and feelings, regardless of their causes, can and
should be overcome and sinful behavior should be eliminated. This can be
achieved through faith in God, sincere repentance, and persistent
effort. The help of others may be needed. We commend and encourage those
who are overcoming inappropriate thoughts and feelings. We plead with
those involved in such behavior to forsake it. We love them and pray for
them. We are confident that through repentance and obtaining needed
help, they can experience the peace that comes from conforming their
lives to God's teachings."
Reserving sexual activity
for use within the bonds of marriage between a man and a woman is
central to the Creator’s eternal plan of salvation and is necessary for
mortal and eternal progression.
Homosexual behavior
violates God’s commandments and blocks eternal progress. However, it is
also important to overcome sexual attractions toward the same gender
because they distort healthy, loving relationships and steer individuals
away from the blessings that can be found in marriage and family
relationships. Such attractions divert capable priesthood holders from
the roles of husband and father. They divert loving women from the roles
of wife and mother.
Complex Issue: Complex Solutions
Same-sex attraction is a
complex issue and many factors may contribute to the development of
homosexual attractions. Humans are complex beings and our feelings and
behaviors are the result of many complex interactions. People are not
genetically predestined to have same-sex attractions. Same-sex
attractions usually result from a complex interaction of personality,
biological inheritance, and developmental experiences.
Just like the entry into
same-sex attraction is multifaceted, we have found that the answer is
also multifaceted. Individuals can be more successful when they use all
the relationships and resources available to them, such as family,
friends, counselors, Church leaders, faith, prayer, group and individual
therapy, individual study, and support groups. They may also need to
grow in other areas like coming to understand their divine self,
confirming their masculine or feminine identity, healing the effects of
abuse, healing old wounds, forgiving, reconciling their relationships
with parents and peers, learning to control their behavior or overcome
addictions, and most importantly, surrendering to God and the healing
power of the Atonement.
It is also important to
recognize that this progression out of a state of same-sex attraction
may take many years. In issues of personal growth and development, how
long it takes to reach a goal is not as important as the choice of
direction.
Acceptance of Individuals Who Experience Same-Sex Attraction
We encourage members of the
Church everywhere to reach out and be more loving and kind to
individuals and families who face these difficult challenges. Those who
experience same-sex attraction need to feel the love and support of
family, friends, and fellow ward members.
After speaking in a general
conference on the subject of same-gender attraction, President Gordon B.
Hinckley said, “I desire now to say with emphasis that our concern for
the bitter fruit of sin is coupled with Christlike sympathy for its
victims, innocent or culpable. We advocate the example of the Lord, who
condemned the sin, yet loved the sinner. We should reach out with
kindness and comfort to the afflicted, ministering to their needs and
assisting them with their problems.” (“Reverence and Morality,” Gordon
B. Hinckley, Ensign, May 1987, p. 47.)
The reason that sometimes
people don’t respond with love and compassion is that same-sex
attraction is foreign to many people. Unless they know a relative or
friend who is affected by same-sex attraction, the only experience they
have to draw on is perhaps a news report they saw about a gay pride
parade where they saw lewd costumes and flaunted sexuality. From this,
they draw conclusions based on the extremes of the gay population. They
usually don’t think of the man or woman sitting next to them at church.
And this is a catch-22 because if we are unwilling to share our
struggles with others at church, we don’t give them a chance to change
their stereotypes.
While same-sex attraction
may be a considerable trial to those who experience it, the discomfort
and pain is not dissimilar to that experienced by others with different
kinds of trials. The more we can help our fellow brothers and sisters to
recognize this, the less strange and appalling same-sex attraction will
be to them, and the more willing they will be to reach out with
compassion and love.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks said
that “each member of Christ’s church has a clear-cut doctrinal
responsibility to show forth love and to extend help and understanding.
Sinners, as well as those who are struggling to resist inappropriate
feelings, are not people to be cast out but people to be loved and
helped (see 3 Ne. 18:22–23, 30, 32).” Elder Oaks continued, “Church
leaders are sometimes asked whether there is any place in The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for persons with homosexual or lesbian
susceptibilities or feelings. Of course there is…. the message of hope
and the hand of fellowship offered by the Church is the same for all who
strive.” Elder Oaks further explained that people who experience
same-sex attraction “are in special need of the love and encouragement
that is a clear responsibility of Church members, who have signified by
covenant their willingness ‘to bear one another’s burdens’ (Mosiah 18:8)
‘and so fulfil the law of Christ’ (Gal. 6:2).” (“Same-Gender
Attraction,” Dallin H. Oaks,
Ensign, Oct. 1995, p. 14.)
Gay Identity
The popular notion of a
gay identity is a political
and social construct that says that people are born gay and will always
be gay and that homosexuality is simply a normal variation of sexuality
equal in value to heterosexuality. Evergreen participants typically
don’t accept such an identity. They believe that they have other options
in life.
Some people consider
same-sex attraction to be the defining fact of their existence. Most
Evergreen participants choose to define themselves as sons and daughters
of a loving God, knowing they were born on this earth for a purpose and
with a divine destiny. Whenever any other notion “gets in the way of
that ultimate defining fact, then it is destructive and it leads us down
the wrong path” (Dallin H. Oaks, Same-Gender Attraction,
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction).
American Psychological Association
Resolution
You may have heard that the
American Psychological Association adopted a resolution last month
titled “Resolution on Appropriate Affirmative Responses to Sexual
Orientation Distress and Change Efforts.”
Two years ago (in 2007),
the APA appointed six people to a task force on Appropriate Therapeutic
Responses to Sexual Orientation. All six individuals are gay or gay
activist. There was no one representing people who have changed their
sexual orientation or any professional who has assisted anyone who has
changed. The task force reviewed selected literature and studies that
supported their views and, not surprisingly, recommended that “mental
health professionals should avoid telling clients that they can change
their sexual orientation through therapy or other treatments.”
In spite of the clear
intention of this task force to discourage people from attempting to
change their response to same-sex attraction, there are some positive
statements in their report.
Client Self-Determination
The report encourages
therapists to avoid imposing a specific outcome on clients. Evergreen
has always valued the right of client self-determination. We believe the
client—not the therapist—should determine the course of treatment.
Therefore, if a client accepts a gay identity, he or she should seek out
a therapist who will help reinforce that identity. Likewise, if a person
is not happy with a gay identity and wishes to leave it behind, he or
she should have access to a therapist who will help in that process.
Evergreen exists as an
educational and referral agency whose stated mission is to help
individuals who want to
diminish same-sex attractions and overcome homosexual behavior. We force
no one to do this. No one is at this conference today against their
will. Our conferences and Web site provide a wide array of options that
individuals may choose as they pursue their goal of diminishing same-sex
attractions and overcoming homosexual behaviors.
Religious Values
Another positive statement
in the APA resolution is the recognition that some people choose to live
their lives in congruence with religious values.
We know that not only is faith is an essential part of life for
many men and women who experience same-sex attraction, it is almost
always the motivating factor behind their decision to leave
homosexuality behind.
The APA report addressed
the potential for conflict between one's religious faith and homosexual
orientation, with many people seeking a change in sexual orientation due
to a conflict with their beliefs. The task force recommended that mental
health practitioners help clients "explore possible life paths that
address the reality of their sexual orientation, reduce the stigma
associated with homosexuality, respect the client's religious beliefs,
and consider possibilities for a religiously and spiritually meaningful
and rewarding life."
Evergreen International,
Exodus International, JONAH, Courage, and many other faith-based
organizations exist to support people who
on their own make the choice
to make their lives congruent with their self-chosen spiritual goals.
For such people, faith is not only an essential part of life, it is
almost always the motivating factor behind their decision to leave
homosexuality behind.
Judith Glassgold,
chairwoman of the APA task force,
told the Wall Street Journal, "In other words, we recommend that
psychologists be completely honest about the likelihood of sexual
orientation change, and that they help clients explore their assumptions
and goals with respect to both religion and sexuality…. We’re not trying
to encourage people to become ‘ex-gay.’ But we have to acknowledge that,
for some people, religious identity is such an important part of their
lives, it may transcend everything else.”
On the final day of the APA
annual convention where this resolution was released, Mark A. Yarhouse
and Dr. Stanton L. Jones presented a paper on their six-year
longitudinal study of attempted change of orientation through
involvement in religious ministries. More than half of the people they
studied had either made a successful change to heterosexuality or
disidentified with homosexuality and embraced chastity. "For an
individual who feels they need to pursue change, particularly on a
religious basis, our study encourages them to pursue that path."
People are Making Changes in Their Lives
Those who promote pro-gay
philosophies would like you to believe that no one has really overcome
same-sex attraction. I know hundreds of Latter-day Saints who have in
varying degrees found success and liberation from same-sex attraction.
We testify that people do
overcome homosexual behavior and diminish same-sex attractions. We’ve
seen it happen time and time again. For some, it means that they figure
out why they have the attractions, what they are lacking, and they find
ways to legitimately fill those needs. The attractions diminish to the
point that they don’t get in the way of moving on with their lives,
going on missions, marrying, and raising families. They are fully
capable of living the Lord’s law of chastity and remaining faithful.
That is the experience of many people I know personally.
For others, it may be
something less than that ideal. We do not believe that everyone will
make a total change to exclusive heterosexual feelings and attractions.
However, most people who put forth a significant effort will be able to
stop addictive or destructive behaviors. Most people will gain more
self-esteem, learn to see themselves as God sees them, learn to love
themselves, and recognize that God loves them. They are able to diminish
same-sex attractions enough that they are manageable. They develop
patterns of behavior and self-perception that are consistent with their
personal beliefs and values.
Let me conclude with a
quote from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin: "We see ourselves in terms of
yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever.
Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us
as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming. The gospel of Jesus
Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of
the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities." (Joseph
B. Wirthlin, “The Great Commandment,” Liahona, Nov 2007, 28–31)
I testify that God loves us
and will help us become “men and women for the eternities.” In the name
of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Copyright © 2009 Larry Richman. May be photocopied or shared
electronically for noncommercial, educational use as long as it is in
its entirety and contains this notice. For more information, see
www.evergreeninternational.org.