April 29, 2007 Fireside

Salt Lake Stake Center (142 West 200 North), 7:00 p.m.

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David Matheson, MS, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice. He is also a speaker and trainer specializing in same-sex attraction issues. David Matheson was one of the first trustees of Evergreen International, and is a past executive director. He graduated from Brigham Young University in 1996 with an M.S. in Counseling and Guidance. He practiced for eight years under the supervision of Dr. Joseph Nicolosi at the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic in Encino, California. He then moved his family to New Jersey to practice there. He is a co-creator of the Journey into Manhood experiential weekend, and serves on the board of directors of peoplecanchange.com. He is a co-author of the Evergreen Workbook for Men, an interactive guide to change for men. He is the clinical director of the Center for Gender Wholeness. He also authored Origins of Male Homosexuality, a lengthy review and discussion of research and theory regarding the development of same-sex orientation. He and his family will shortly be moving back to Utah. You may reach David at dmatheson@genderwholeness.com.

David spoke about the interaction of nature, science, and spirituality in the resolution of same-sex attraction. Below are notes taken by an attendee of the fireside:

“Everything I say tonight is about coming to know Christ. All I say is aimed at that.”

 There are 3 schools of thought as to how people heal from same-sex attraction:

1. With time, it will work itself out through a natural process of healing and maturation. Strong male friendships will heal it. SSA can result from a disruption of the natural process of a child learning to identify with the same-sex parent, or another healthy male role model. These processes can be interrupted by trauma. Healing and change will occur when these processes are taken up again.
2. Science, Psychotherapy (and appropriate medication for related disorders, if indicated) - Take advantage of therapeutic techniques by experienced, trained professionals. Attend individual therapy, bibliotherapy (read about the subject). This facilitates the change process to resolve addictions, perfectionism, obsessive/compulsive disorder, anxiety, etc.) Science also helps us understand how the natural processes of maturation can be restored.
3. Spiritual- all healing comes from God. Spiritual intervention heals spiritual brokenness. Many aspects of SSA cannot be accounted for or addressed by science, and spirituality fills that dimension. Faith must be exercised so that therapeutic miracles can happen. . 

It is important to reorder one’s life, if necessary. One must find the right same-sex friends, and get out of toxic relationships.

All three methods, nature, science and spirituality need to be part of the healing process. They become operative by accepting the fact that there is a divine plan for us, and, like it or not, that there is a purpose in our SSA. In healing, there is joy and eventual exaltation.

God intends for you to get through your SSA. For a few, it’s a miraculous healing, for most, it’s a gradual process.

“I’ve learned that God intends for us to grow and mature through the things we suffer. Trials produce increased patience and gratitude in this life”.

David told about miracles occurring in his life. He prayed about opportunities to heal. He got a job where there were a lot of men who worked together, “a lot of playful guys”, that he felt a part of. He also told about an entire group of men at a Journey into Manhood retreat in England, praying for the weather to abate because the activities required they be outside. The weather was windy, rainy and cold, but the rain and wind stopped during the afternoon, and they were able to finish their work.

“Profound change happens. I’m an entirely different man than I was 16 years ago.” 

Consider what it is that is keeping you from letting the natural process take place.

“Returning to what I started with, all of this is part of your eternal journey. Change happens because God is a loving and forgiving God.”

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